Kai Moana

Another food story, this one from a couple of months ago. It's taken this long for the memory of the experience to recede sufficiently for me to blog about it without... without... no, I'm ok, I can go on...

I recently became obsessed with the idea of gathering my own seafood, specifically oysters (you can probably already see where this is going). There are many places around the Auckland coast where large signs tell you how much seafood you are allowed to gather on any given day. Oysters are everywhere. Coming from the UK I've always regarded them as an expensive delicacy. Therefore, the opportunity to gather them for free seemed too good to be missed.

My first move was to attempt to obtain an oyster knife and a shucking mitt, which is an armoured glove lest you stab yourself trying to get your oysters open. Despite the preponderance of gratis bivalves these standard tools were remarkably hard to obtain. I did eventually manage to get the knive, so safety be damned, I forged on.



Shortly thereafter we found some oysters, brought them home, and commenced to eat. Very good they were too, with a little bit of Tabasco or lemon juice. Turns out, they are pretty easy to get into as well. The oyster's lid is slightly raised near the hinge. Slot the knife in, give it a twist and Bob is your mother's brother, so to speak.

Here are some pictures of some crabs that accidentally came home in the lump of oysters that we gathered. This is by way of interlude before the story turns sour.




Ok, so about 24 hours after eating the Oysters, Jo got very sick. Shortly thereafter, I also started feeling very poorly, although managed not to cry Ralph. There followed a day of regular visits to the bathroom, intense nausea, lassitude, hallucinatory dreams, etc. I felt terrible, and terribly guilty for having poisoned Jo, who suffered more than I did.

Eventually, we got better. In retrospect, we got the oysters from the wrong damn place, right at the base of the Auckland harbour bridge, near the entrance to the marina. Not really the most salubrious place, although in our defence, there was a sign about gathering seafood, so it must happen sometimes.

Once bitten, twice shy. Next time I try to gather my own oysters, it will be from a wild west (of Auckland) beach, far from civilisation and sewage outflows. I'm not going to be discouraged by this experience. Strangely though, I just don't fancy oysters that much at the moment...